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Sunday, 11 September 2016

12 Ways To Survive Buhari's Recession

                                                                       
                                Children with Kwashiokor
(1) USE GAS MORE INSTEAD OF KEROSENE
      With kerosene selling for as much as N250 per litre, it makes economic sense to use gas, coal, sawdust or Abacha Stove! Five litres of kerosene can barely take you for one week whereas 5kg of gas that sells for N1400 can take you up to 2 weeks if properly managed. Diesel now cost N300 per litre, so you can your car tank from diesel to fuel tank!

(2) CUT DOWN ON GENERATOR USAGE
       I don't use generator more than 2 hours a day in my house and that is mostly in the night! I can't come and die! It's bad enough the economy is crumbling faster than a cookie but how many Nigerians can recall a lengthy spell of uninterrupted power supply. Our standby household generators have for years, been doing what the government cannot do for us. Now that the situation is getting severe, generator usage should be restricted specific hours and to take care of necessities. Comfort can wait till the recession is over and we are out of troubled waters.

(3) EATING OUT OR TAKING PEOPLE OUT
      Why eat out if your wife/girlfriend can cook very well! Give her the money including the tips you give out to those beggarly attendants and orderly! Give that money to your wife to cook better and healthy food for you and the family! Anyone who actually cooks will know that restaurants serve overpriced, often unsatisfying food. So instead of taking your hard earned money to pay for 'fancy' food, go to the market, buy raw food and head to kitchen. You'll save so much money.

(4) USE LESS OF YOUR CAR, TREK OR USE BRT BUSES        
       The cost of fuel is higher than it has ever been in Nigeria's history. From N87 to N145, transport fare has skyrocketed. And it looks like the fuel burns out quickly these days! So why  not kill two birds with one stone while going for short errands trek! You should trek instead of boarding buses or taxis. Its good for your health! Take a walk or go for a run while running your errand. Your body and your pocket will thank you. Also use public means of transportation like BRT and yellow buses! This will save you money!

(5) DON'T BUY PROVISIONS AND GROCERIES IN BULK
       Constant grocery shopping can be such a chore so we tend to buy in bulk. However, a disadvantage of bulk buying is that some goods may expire or spoil before you get around to using them, hence cut your grocery shopping list down to necessities. Get what you need and not what you think you will need.

(6) CUT DOWN ON NEW CLOTHES
       In recession and hard times, nobody cares if you put on new clothes! The most important thing is stomach infrastructure! Even Nollywood Celebrities that have a unwritten law of not repeating same cloth for occasions now disobey that law! If I lie ask Nigerian celebrities! Your old clothes are perfectly fine! Oh you think people have noticed you've had that shirt for a while? Frankly, it's nobody's business. As long as your clothes are not obviously tattered, there is no use going cloth shopping every week to impress people and depress your bank account.

(7) REPENT AND STOP CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE/HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND
      For those of you that play away matches, remember Buhari and the economy is not smiling! You know how much you spend in hotel for full time and short time! Your babe will drink at least 3 Bottles of Big Stout (Odeku) to charge up to plus Nkwobi and Pepper Soup! While going you square her at least N5k or N10k must to hold body! So why not give your life to Christ and flee from all evils that will compound your economic woes and deplete your pocket!

(8) HANGING OUT WITH THE BOYS
      For each hanging out with the boys at least some bottles of beer will be demolished and that is some money! Although we all love spending quality time with friends and family but instead of going some place where you'll spend more than you budgeted for (more often than not), invite them to your house and plan activities everyone can participate in. You'll create a stronger bond and more lasting activities while saving money.

(9) WHY DO VACATION ABROAD?
       Some see it as status symbol and show of arrival by flaunting, "I go on vacation abroad every year with my family."! Try it now with cheapest airfare to London which is N400k. This is known generally as "the king of excesses"! Vacationing abroad is officially a luxury at this point in time! Why go and spend your hard earned naira in a foreign country like UK, USA and South Africa, contributing to the growth of their economy while leaving yours in the backseat? When I can go to Obudu or go to my village and drink better Palm Win!

(10) CUT DOWN ON PAY TV SUBSCRIPTION
        As for me, I have stopped subscription on any form of pay TV or satellite TV subscription since December 2014 when I discovered their hanky panky and rip off methodologies! Am cool with my Channels, TVC, AIT, Galaxy, after all, how many hours is NEPA giving person power sef! Also, you don't need to pay for all the channels. It's not a competition. You hardly watch more than 15 of the channels on the premium package, so why the bother? The smallest bouquet has news channels for the grown-ups and cartoons for the kids. I can't come and be developing South African economy at the detriment of my pocket!

(11) TAKE MORE WATER THAN JUICES AND MINERALS
        Why bombard my system with sugar when I can take my natural water? Remember Diabetics doesn't respect anybody! Some people think there is an award for showing off drinking all fruit juices and soft drinks! My brother there isn't any special benefits. Most processed drinks you desire to gulp down your throat with every meal are not even good for your health and they definitely cost more than water. Drink water, you'll live longer than expected.

(12) UNNECESSARY AND LONG TIME ON PHONE CALLS
        Some people can spend minutes or hours gossiping or yarning nonsense on phone! Why don't you know its money you are burning? The most annoying aspect of this is that some will spend close 5 minutes on phone and say "I just say make I flash you!" Is that how to flash? Restrict your airtime to calls with purpose (work & business). There's no need to ask your friend what he/she is eating or staying on a call for an hour discussing what nail polish colour to wear to an event. Or ask your friend on phone what colour brand of pant or bra they are wearing.

Culled from my WhatsApp group

1 comment:

  1. President Muhammadu Buhari the country into recession as a result of his bad policies.

    ReplyDelete

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